The Pear Cares

Holidays

2010-12-01T12:32:00.001-05:00

It’s been about six months since I’ve last written you all. First, let me thank you for not deleting yourselves from our Facebook Group. To reintroduce myself - I’m Tony, one of the owners of The Pear. Occasionally I get bored and write a quasi-funny blog type thing. Well here it is! A blog about the holidays (what else)!

The main reason I enjoy this time of year is because you are essentially forced to spend time with friends and family… and I mean “forced” in a good way. It gives you a reason to get together. Everyone is around, no one is working, time is on your side. With my family, these get-togethers usually involve awkward conversations and a distant uncle asking me for stock tips (because in my family if you have a desk job, you’re obviously a stock-broker). With my friends though, these get-togethers consist mostly of exaggerated stories, off-color jokes, plenty of laughs and of course, a few cocktails.

Last weekend, my friends and I kicked off the holiday season how we always do – On Black Friday, rather than standing in line at 3am waiting for the doors of Target to open, we went to dinner (gentlemen only). The night started off slowly with appetizers and wine, but quickly took a turn for the better when I heard my brother Dom order, “10 shots of Sambuca, chilled.” 5 hours later, the night ended in a blur. The next morning (afternoon) when I woke up, I slowly put the pieces back together, all while chuckling to myself about the night’s shenanigans.

There is a point to this story other than telling you how drunk I got last Friday – During the holiday season, good times happen often and out of the blue. My Black Friday was a great chance to relive old times with the guys I grew up with, but with a slightly more responsible twist than when we used to drink Milwaukee’s Best in the woods. Knowing that we’d likely have a few too many drinks, we reserved a personal chauffeur from The Pear to drive us around for the night. I really can’t say enough about what that does for your morale and peace of mind during a night out. Knowing that someone would be driving me and my car home allowed me to let my hair down (come on, that’s funny) and focus on enjoying a reunion that, with each passing year, happens less often that it should.

Don’t let anything keep you from fully enjoying the company of good friends and family. You don’t have to cut the night short and certainly shouldn’t have to turn down another drink, another story, or another laugh. Reserve The Pear for your nostalgic gatherings and get not only a ride home, but peace of mind to fully enjoy these good times. You can’t put a price tag on that… but if you had to, it would probably cost $20 fixed fee + $2/mile ;)

Merry Christmas/Hanukkah/Qwanza/whatever else you people celebrate,

Tony
tony.ciotti@thepearcares.com
http://www.thepearcares.com/

Meet the Drivers

2010-06-29T12:36:00.001-04:00

I think that one of the main reasons people love The Pear so much is because unlike taxi services, our drivers don’t look like child molesters. In fact, it is quite the contrary; our drivers are some of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen in my life. For those of you who have used our service before – you should recognize these qualities of your favorite drivers; for those of you who are still hesitant, this should persuade you. Let’s meet some of the drivers (the ones who consented to me writing this):

Jeff McCormick http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=729678449 – our longest tenured driver, Jeff is arguably also our most “caring.” Not only does he ensure that you and your vehicle get home safely, but he routinely texts our female customers well into the night to be sure they get to bed safely. He’s known by such nicknames as “Marty” and “Pear Bear,” has a mean sneaker collection, and can found snacking on candy bars in between trips.

Michael Roth http://www.facebook.com/mrmroth – silky smooth and eager to please, Mr. Roth only helps out with The Pear to support his golf addiction. When he isn’t on the golf course, he is likely thinking of clever acronyms for obscene phrases. Holds the record for most cancellations in a night (all his trips cancelled).

Gio Poliziani http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1459440045 – considered a rebel by some for often wearing a plain green tee shirt instead of his standard-issued Pear tee (claiming that his Pear tee is in the laundry because he wears it so much during his free time). Gio enjoys taking days off and has a bowl of Quaker Honey Graham Oh’s every afternoon when he wakes up. He once beat my ass at golf by 6 strokes on just 9 holes.

Jon Ptak – too cool for a Facebook profile, Jon is our Cristiano Ronaldo of drivers. He’s got abs on top of abs, and holds the record for most consecutive trips completed without a shirt on. An amateur boxing champion, “Big Jon Stud” also enjoys opening “pry-off” bottles with his bare hands and scouring YouTube for funny videos. On his first ever Pear trip, he received a $120 tip.

Steve Schohn http://www.facebook.com/steveschohn – a world traveler, Steve enjoys spending his weekends in Las Vegas, Manhattan, and Reading, PA. Often called the “weeknight delight” for his partiality towards weeknight over weekend shifts… Steve is also a professional photographer when he’s not on the clock (www.srspgh.com).

Katrina Cahill http://www.facebook.com/katrinamassawesome – the most stunning and probably the hardest-working member of our team, once being quoted as yelling deliriously, “I DON’T NEED SLEEP!” Katrina is also the keeper of our coveted breathalyzer device, in part because she never gave it back to us after I blew the infamous 0.22 at 10pm a few months back. Regardless of where you call home, there is a good chance that “Kat” knows someone from there.

Ciana Cahill http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000626952342 – one of our newest additions and the 2nd part of the Cahill crew, she saw how screwed up sister Katrina’s sleeping schedule had become and just had to join in. I don’t really know much else about Ciana, but she seems just fabulous.

Dave Hughes, Mike Machajewski, Lindsay Pavlick – all brand-spanking new members of the team who I know nothing about, other than the fact that they have clean driving/criminal records, look great in green, and will probably get initiated/hazed by some of our more frequent customers. If you know anything about any of these people, please let me know!

There you have it, folks. Be sure to stalk these people on Facebook or shake their hands when you see them on the street. They’re giving up their weekends to get you home safely (and to make money, but mostly to get you home safely).

Have a safe and fun holiday weekend.

Tony

tony.ciotti@thepearcares.com
http://www.thepearcares.com/

P.S. Honorable mentions to those who have helped us out in a pinch but aren’t regularly on the rotation – Becky Signorello, Dom Ciotti, Joe Ciotti, Nina Ciotti, JR Conley, Jade Nicole, Nick Mineo.

My Pear Experience

2010-05-25T23:05:00.002-04:00

Hi there!

What good is owning a business if you can’t sample the goods every once in a while, right? About two Fridays ago, I realized that it had been a while since I did a surprise “quality review” of our company. I had a “night out” and some friends were doing happy hour, so I decided to let Mike know that I would be requiring The Pear’s services. I was feeling really frisky and ambitious that night, so I made a reservation for late night – 10-10:30pm to be exact.

It’s a beautiful spring day in Pittsburgh, and the venue this early evening was Cadillac Ranch in Settler’s Ridge. Great happy hour spot if you live in the area. So around 6:30pm we get a table outside, and I proceed to party like it’s 1999. I’m drinking scotch whiskey like W.C. Fields and doing shots like Andy Dick after a show at the Boston Improv http://www.flickr.com/photos/42031699@N04/3876670510/

Long story short, by 9pm I’m texting Mike asking who my drivers are going to be so I can call them and see if they’re close. I was out of control and needed to be tucked in.

Around 10pm, Gio and Katrina show up with a trick up their sleeve. Gio pulls out a breathalyzer like he’s the Mount Lebanon Police Department, and away I blow. My “score” was a respectable 0.20, two and a half times the legal limit. Not bad for a happy hour in Robinson. The ride was a blur and I crawled into bed before TBS was even done playing Family Guy re-runs.

I woke up the next day feeling like David Faustino http://www.thesmokinggun.com/mugshots/faustinomug1.html after a round of golf with John Daly http://www.thesmokinggun.com/mugshots/johndalymug1.html followed by a night out with Andre the Giant http://www.thesmokinggun.com/mugshots/andregiantmug1.html ... but I tell ya (here comes the Pear plug), nothing felt better than seeing my car keys on the dresser and my car in the drive-way.

The point of the story is - go out, get banged up, and have a young man in a puke-green t-shirt with a smiling fruit on it take you home. But seriously, I think a lot us have gotten way too comfortable getting behind the wheel after too many drinks. If you’re going to pull a Tony and black-out by 10pm, reserve The Pear and wake up feeling like Deion Sanders http://www.thesmokinggun.com/mugshots/deionmugshot1.html

Be safe this weekend and have a great Memorial Day!

Cheers,

Tony
tony.ciotti@thepearcares.com
http://www.thepearcares.com/

Call Anytime!

2010-04-22T22:25:00.000-04:00

I think that maybe the second greatest thing we’ve done here at the Pear (besides of course, the radio interview I did with “Positively Pittsburgh Live!”) was setting up our office phone system to allow for voicemail reservations. If you haven’t figured it out yet, we’re not always in the Pear office. In fact, we’re seldom there. But don’t fret – our highly sophisticated phone systems allows call forwarding to all of our cells simultaneously so that The Pear is still always just a phone call away… and whoever answers first wins (loses).

That being said, most of us have day jobs and can’t answer all calls during normal business hours. And sometimes, when our reservation book fills up and we hit the roads, we can’t always answer calls during Pear hours. Again, don’t worry – if you leave a voicemail, it automatically gets forwarded to all our cells, so we check it almost immediately and get back even faster. If this were a late night infomercial, this is where someone would say that our phone system must cost AT LEAST $5,000 a month… but it could be yours for just $29.99 a month.

Sometimes though, voicemail just isn’t good enough for our customers… and we understand. But we also get a fair share of chuckles out of some of the voicemails people leave us. Here goes:

- Pocket-dials – these happen usually once a day… which is great because people have our number in their phones. Sometimes you don’t hear anything but fuzz, but on some rare occasions you get to hear the person (a man) singing along with their favorite Ke$ha song on the radio... it's OK, let it roar - "wake up in the morning feelin’ like P. Diddy."

- Prank calls – These can be anything from a group of dudes screaming into the phone to people telling us they’re starting “The Banana Transportation Company.” Good luck, I say.

- Hate messages - Believe it or not, some people yell at us… and while we encourage any and all customer feedback, when alcohol is involved it is a bit excessive. We save these, actually. For example:

        - I’ve been told to “Go f*ck myself, asshole.” More than once.
        - One of our most frequent customers told me that he was going to bomb my house… and this was actually in-person when I arrived to drive him home and was followed by a bear hug!
        - Another frequent user has told us at least 4 times that he is “done with us,” only to follow-up a few days later with a reservation.
        - We got one a few days back from a guy who, after explaining that we were a scam, told us to choke on the chicken bone (to his credit, he did follow that up with “have a good night.”).

- Love messages – you’ll have to see our Testimonials page for those - http://thepearcares.com/testimonials.shtml

Look – regardless of what kind of message you want to leave, we still love hearing from you. Say something funny and you might end up in a seldom-read blog. Remember, it’s OK to drunk-dial The Pear. In fact, it’s encouraged.

Cheers,

Tony
tony.ciotti@thepearcares.com
http://www.thepearcares.com/

The Pear Cares "historic" Blog is Back!

2010-03-16T14:20:00.002-04:00

I know, I know. It’s been a month since I last wrote and you’ve been wondering when the next email/blog was going to come out. Well listen up jerky - I’ve been busy. On a personal note, in the past month I’ve crossed some big to-dos off the list:

• Scheduled a LASIK procedure – are you surprised to hear that your designated driver can’t see for shit
• Hosted a Mexican-themed dinner party that got out of control and ended up with my dear friend Graham falling and puking in a 4 foot high pile of snow
• Been to the China Buffet King more times than I can count on one hand
• Talked baseball with Andy Van Slyke
• Visited Omaha – quick Omaha fact – there is a law in Omaha stating that a man is not allowed to run around with a shaved chest (sorry Julian McMahon)

On a professional note, I have some exciting news – we’re moving Pear Headquarters to Pittsburgh’s Historic West End. Off topic - I love how people feel like adding the word “historic” to an area’s description makes it sound classy or cultured; when I hear “historic,” I think of Compton’s “historic” Martin Luther King Boulevard!!!! Back on track – I love the West End and grew up right up the street. It is quaint and centrally located and will definitely make our Pear lives a lot easier. The best part – there is a basketball court across the street. In case you didn’t know, my partners Mike and Dani were once quite the accomplished “ballers” in their heydays. Now they’re old and frail, and I plan on breaking their ankles and perhaps lowering the rim down to 6 feet so I can stuff it on both of them.

In other news, I wanted to briefly introduce you to a concept we have here at The Pear that is going to make me sound like an asshole. In case you haven’t used us, it goes like this - You make a reservation, then an hour before your scheduled pick-up time we send you a text to confirm the time of pick-up and location of your vehicle. Simple right? All we ask is that you respond. Well, we’ve culminated a list of those people who’ve reserved our service then fall off the face of the earth, causing the heartache of not only worrying for their well-being (sarcasm or not?), but also of having drivers sit idle and miss out on trips they could be working if not for the bogus reservation. This list is called The Shit List (clever), and once you’re on it, good luck reserving The Pear again. Like the great George W. Bush once said, “Fool me once, shame on…shame on you. You fool me you can’t get fooled again.” So if you reserve The Pear and realize that you’re no longer in need of our services, no hard feelings… but give us a heads-up in advance, or just respond to that text saying that you’re all good.

Sorry about that. Dani made me do it. Anyways, we’re all going to St. James Place Tavern tonight for a St. Patrick’s Day Eve karaoke party with our pals from BarSmart. Check out the event here. Stop by if you’re into Tuesday night drinking. We’ll be giving away those puke-green colored shirts you’ve been hearing so much about!

I missed you all too,

Tony

SNOW!!!!!!!!

2010-02-15T16:58:00.002-05:00

OK, now that I have your attention from the subject of this message… Hello. How are you? This may be one of the few times a year when the question “How ‘bout that weather?” actually merits a response. So – how ‘bout that weather? With an impending snowstorm (#6 in the series, for those of you keeping track at home) making way tonight, you’re probably all sitting there thinking:

A. Not again! How am I going to get around?
B. Again! Now I don’t have to go to work!
C. Who is this random guy emailing me on Facebook?
D. All of the above

Well I’m here to tell you – you’re all wrong!!!! Just kidding. I’m actually here to report, against my better judgment, that there are plenty of things to do besides drinking. I know – counter-intuitive from a guy who runs a designated driver service. But with this crap outside, there isn’t much else you can do. So for all of you out there with cabin fever, I am offering my list of things to do besides going out drinking. For the sake of argument, we’ll lump drugs into this category too. First – things that you should NOT do:

- Go up on your roof and attempt to pour warm buckets of water to melt the snow/ice (DANI!!!!)
- Sled ride to the China Buffet King - because you somehow have to get home from there with a belly full of whatever it is they’re serving up
- Drink and drive (Pear plug!)

Things you CAN do:

- Cook – yes, that stainless steel box in your kitchen actually does more than hold the teapot
- Go bowling – if there isn’t a bowling alley by your house, go fishing in your own aquarium. If you don’t have an aquarium, go outside with a broom and knock those icicles off of your patio
- De-shell a 4 pound bag of pistachios – see my Facebook page – I did this. This can also include picking out only your favorite colors from a bag of Skittles or M&M’s – very rewarding in the end
- Play board games – Gentlemen – I challenge you to find a woman who doesn’t own AT LEAST Scene-It DVD edition, Tribond, Fact or Crap, or Cranium. Learn to play these games!
- Learn some magic tricks – so that you can be that douche bag at the next party doing magic tricks
- Make a chronological list of all of your past “romantic expeditions” – this will most certainly get you into trouble
- Memorize an entire movie, or just watch Will Smith in "Seven Pounds" and cry your eyes out in the end when Woody Harrelson has his eyes
- Play “Rock Band” until you break the drumsticks
- Beat your business partner’s ass at gin rummy for the 30th time
- Write a blog – because it can’t be much worse than mine

Can I PLEASE see you all this weekend????

Tony
tony.ciotti@thepearcares.com
http://www.thepearcares.com/

Taking a Night Out

2010-01-27T13:48:00.002-05:00

Hello!

A few weeks back, I put in a request with Pear management to “take a night out,” as Mikey so eloquently calls it. While I still haven’t heard back from my superiors on the status of this request, I’ve decided to go ahead and do it anyways. So I’m leaving town this weekend for the first time since we launched this little fruit company. Ironically enough, my last weekend trip was in fact our opening weekend. The stress of all 2 Pear-trips that we had scheduled that weekend was too much for me to handle, so I went to Las Vegas and spent/gambled away not only that weekend’s earnings, but pretty much everything that we’re going to make through December 21, 2012. Phong, the dealer at the high stakes Pai Gow Poker table, loves The Pear and probably misses me.

Anyways, I’m heading to New York City to visit some of my old droogs (Clockwork Orange) from my pre-Pear days. It is sure to be a fun-filled weekend, but I can’t help but feel a little, dare I say, sad to be leaving you all, if even just for the weekend. Here’s why – I’m not exactly sure what will happen in New York this weekend, but I’m sure of what will NOT happen this weekend. Among those things (as you can tell, I’m really into lists and bullet points recently):

- I won’t almost lose a passenger out of a backseat window while she’s vomiting
- I won’t be told by a customer to race the car in front of me, even though that car is actually Dani, and I’m following her to get to the customer’s house
- I won’t stop at Fiori’s on a trip from South Side to Mt. Lebanon , and then have a customer from the back seat feed me slices as I navigate them home
- A customer won’t offer to buy me a drink before I have to designated-drive them home
- I won’t get to hear Mike answer the Pear line by saying “What!? The Pear!? No, no, no, you got it all wrong, see. This is a residence!!!!” (Just kidding, he never did that)
- I won’t get to make up stories to drunk people about where the name “Pear” came from (OK, maybe I will get to do this one)

Come to think of it, never mind. I’m not sad to be leaving at all! Sayonara suckers! Sike, I’m going to miss you all like Brick misses lamp (Anchorman).

But really, have fun this weekend and be good to the rest of my Pear friends out there. See you all on Super Bowl weekend (hint hint – make your reservations now).

Oh yeah – we accept credit cards as a prepayment option now. We’re like a real company. Hooray!

Cheers,

Tony
tony.ciotti@thepearcares.com
http://www.thepearcares.com/

Searches and Suggestions

2010-01-10T23:30:00.002-05:00

Hello to ALL,

Not sure how many of you out there are tech savvy, but I wanted to let you in on a little secret – there is something out there called web analytics. Long story short, it is a pretty simple code that you add to your website to track everything from how people are getting to your page, which links they’re clicking on, how long they’re staying, what they’re looking at, their location, etc. It’s creepy stuff, but businesses find this information very useful in getting to know their customers. All those things are fine and dandy, but there is one particular metric that me, Mikey and Dani pay extra close attention to – keywords. This tells us exactly what people are typing in to search engines to get to our site.

Allow me to share some of our favorites with you, followed by (of course), my thoughts:

- “compnay driver objective” – if that doesn’t direct you to The Pear site, nothing will
- “pair limo service pittsburgh pa” – our new company slogan – the two of us drive you AND your stretch Escalade home!!!!
- “pear divers” – we swim you home
- “pear fare pittsburgh” – we charged this guy extra
- “pears desognbated” – Google is smarter than I am for deciphering this one

The web stuff is funny, but we have even more fun in person. Most of our customers aren’t shy about voicing their opinions, and we love it. I encourage each of you, sober or drunk, to give us your feedback and suggestions. Here are some that I’ve heard on recent trips. I couldn’t make this stuff up:

- Our drivers should carry backpacks full of food for customers
- We need a Pearmobile
- We need a pear costume, and it should race the pierogies at PNC Park.
- We should use foldable scooters – designated driver services in other cities do this, but picture this – Mike Conley on a scooter going 20 mph up McArdle Roadway to get to a Mt. Washington pick-up… in the dead of winter, of course. Think the moped scene from “Dumb and Dumber,” except with Mikey driving, boogers frozen to his face, wearing a Pear green t-shirt that says “If you can read this, the BITCH fell off.”

But seriously, wanted to make everybody aware of a few things we’re working on for 2010:

- A credit card pre-payment option on reservations; not required, but if you are the kind of person who doesn’t carry much cash, you might enjoy this
- Daylight services, including medical post-operation pick-ups (laser eye treatment, medical procedures, cosmetic surgeries, etc.)
- Driver profiles – we want you all to see and get to know your friendly Pear drivers. I also wouldn’t mind handing out some awards to these folks, although the criteria will probably have nothing to do with their driving. Criteria may include – most cancellations, worst Rock Band performance, and worst tip

Stay thirsty my friends.

Tony
tony.ciotti@thepearcares.com
http://www.thepearcares.com/

Year in Review

2009-12-20T13:47:00.008-05:00

This is typically the time of year when companies thank all of their customers for a wonderful (awful) year and point out all the remarkable (ordinary) things they’ve accomplished in 2009. If you haven’t noticed, we at The Pear like to do things a little bit differently, and this is no exception. We’ve started a business and, in a few short months, grown significantly and become quite popular in this city, all thanks to you; however, that is not what I want to point out or highlight for 2009 (even though I just did). Rather, I want to focus the final 2009 “Year in Review” blog on all the funny and terrible things we’ve said in the media over the past few months. Most companies try and hide their not-so-clever moments; we put them in the limelight. So without further adieu, here they are – The Pear’s worst sound bites of 2009 in chronological order (to show we haven’t gotten any smarter in time), accompanied by a brief commentary.

Tribune Review (Nov 20)

“A lot of our friends have had DUIs or been in accidents.” –Dani    Not exactly the type of information we want the world to know about our inner circle.

KDKA (Nov 25)

The clip of young Jason Leax’s hand shaking as he reaches for his beer, followed by this – “If you get too drunk, can’t drive, and um you have your car there in the morning, and you don’t have to remember where it’s at.” KDKA would use this file footage in a later Pear story, as well.

“A lot of them like to take a quick little nap… a lot of them like to chat us up on the trip.” –Tony     Just come out and say it – people pass out in their own cars! Also, they like to chat it up “on the trip?” As opposed to when?

“If a females want a female driver, then of course I step in.” –Dani     Of course.

WTAE (Dec 11)

“…and we said ‘Maybe someday,’ and she said (eyes get really big) ‘How ‘Bout Today!?’” –Mike     Still my favorite story that didn’t really happen the way it is told.

(when asked about our older customer base) “…and they’re gonna use us maybe two, maybe three times per week.” –Tony     What does someone’s age have to do with how many times they’re getting drunk per week? Apparently everything????

“Their slogan ‘Pears Cares’ is catching on.” –Andrew Stockey     Close enough.

“We are working on giving ourselves a rotation of taking nights out.” –Mike     You mean taking “nights off?”

KDKA (Dec 15)

Host – “How’d you come up with the idea?”
Dani – “Of The Pear?”     No, of Dani’s Hair Loft.

(continued)… “I kinda initiated them to give them to go ahead and give ‘em the go to put this together.”     Yes Dani, you certainly did.

(Other great Dani quotes from this interview include calling Mike Conley “Mikey” and quoting us as having seven employees, a number that none of us can figure out how she got to)

And last but not least, the saying that we’re taking with us into 2010 – “IT’S PEAR TIME!” -Tony

All of these media links can be found on our “Press and Testimonials” page -
http://www.thepearcares.com/testimonials.shtml

Merry Christmas… looks like we’re going to see a lot of you on New Years!

Tony
tony.ciotti@thepearcares.com
http://www.thepearcares.com/

Where's The Pear?

2009-12-06T04:56:00.002-05:00

Hey there. I write you this morning from Pear Headquarters at 5am after a long night of fun on the streets of Pittsburgh. But tonight, just like most nights, we weren’t just within the city limits; tonight The Pear cruised the streets of Allegheny, Washington, and Westmoreland Counties. Tomorrow, we’ll be in Cranberry and some place called Baden (huh?).

Lately, The Pear has been tearing down the borders confining you to drink at only your local watering holes. We’ve opened up the door for those of you living in Monroeville to experience places like Moondogs in Blawnox… or those who call Beaver Falls home - the bright lights of Carson Street as if it were the Chippewa Towne Center. So whether you live near or far – give us a try. Grab a group of friends, make a reservation, and come our way for some laughs and a safe trip home.

Quick story - A few weeks back, a new customer from Canonsburg called us because it was his turn to be the designated driver. He asked a few questions, realized that The Pear could take his place as the DD, and proceeded to get nice and toasty on a cold winter’s night with his pals. He loved now having an option. His buddy who didn’t use The Pear had to call his wife to pick him up and, from what I understand, she ripped him a new asshole the whole ride home. He spent his “relaxing Sunday” apologizing and doing the household chores that most men can put off for months (if not years) under normal circumstances. Poor guy. He now has our card ;)

Alright – I know you all have Holiday and New Years parties coming up. Give The Pear serious consideration as your means of transportation. Drive yourself there, let us get you home. It’s just that simple. Spread the word to some pals and we can bang out the whole party (get your mind out of the gutter).

Also, for those of you who are last-minute gift shoppers, our Pear t-shirts will bring yuletide cheer to any gift recipient. Rush delivery options are available.

Lastly, for those of you who watch the news – check out The Pear on WTAE (Channel 4) this Friday, and then on KDKA’s “Pittsburgh Today Live” (Channel 2) on December 15.

Toodles,

Tony
tony.ciotti@thepearcares.com
http://www.thepearcares.com/

The Pear - not just a moderately tasty fruit anymore!

2009-11-21T03:42:00.002-05:00

Oh, hello there. Welcome to The Pear. So we've noticed a lot of people joining The Pear - whether it be through referral from a friend, local news stories (http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/news/columns/heyl/s_654074.html) and social media (http://www.twitter.com/thepearcares), or because you accidentally joined us instead of the OTHER Facebook group and Croatian rock band "The Pear" (http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=59570991061), we're happy to have you.

We're also finding that a lot of people don't fully understand what The Pear is, besides of course an adorably chubby green fruit with a scandalous wink and your car keys. Let's talk about it - The Pear is a designated driver service. We are not a taxi - we won't pick you up in our cars; and we're not a limousine service - we don't have buses, vans, or stretch Lincolns. Other things we are not - raising awareness to save the trees, a farmer's market, former WWE tag team champions, and certainly not the nickname of a girthy 80s pornstar's shlong.

Here is what we do - we drive you AND your vehicle home. Boom! That just happened. That's right - you make a reservation, we meet you at the location of your vehicle, take your keys, occupy the driver's seat, buckle you up in shotgun, and head on our way to your home. The Pear "runner" follows and scoops up your driver upon delivery home of you and your vehicle.

So next time you're planning a night out, no need to draw straws over which one of you has to drink Shirley Temples all night long. Drive yourselves to the bar, event, party, or wherever... and have The Pear come and take you home.

That was fun. OK, back to business. Big Holiday weekend coming up. Get your reservations in now. There are sure to be lots of DUI checkpoints out; please be responsible and use The Pear, a taxi, a limo, a bus... whatever it is, be safe. Don't drink and drive.

Lastly, we're co-sponsoring (with our pals over at BarSmart http://www.barsmart.com/ and Talent Network, Inc. http://www.talentnetworkinc.com/) the "Rock & Comedy for a Cure" event, happening December 3 at The Lounge Upstairs @ Olive or Twist. Tickets are benefiting the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Come out, hang with The Pear, grab a t-shirt, take the breathalyzer test, support a good cause, and enjoy the some good entertainment.

That's all I've got for now.

Thanks again for being a part of The Pear.

Tony
tony.ciotti@thepearcares.com
http://www.thepearcares.com/

P.S. A fun fact about The Pear - We were originally planning to be called The Char Car Company. We own the domain name http://www.ridechar.com/ Seriously, click it. More fun facts to come later.

Today - the Trib... Tomorrow - TMZ????

2009-11-15T23:40:00.002-05:00

Hello all you Pears out there. I don't have a big message in me this week, but I promise next week's will be full of long-winded stories and swear words.

Did want to mention quickly that the Pittsburgh Whiskey Festival was a big success this year. The Pear was even spotted for a few photos, which can be found accompanying Kate Guerriero's Fanfare article in tomorrow's Trib. Also found in these photos is Pear-lover Morgan McCollum. Here's the link for those of you who can't wait for the early edition:

http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/lifestyles/fanfare/s_653351.html

and here is the link the Kate's Fanfare Facebook page. Join up and keep in touch with all the happenings Pittsburgh has to offer:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Kate-Guerriero-Fanfare-Column-Pittsburgh-Tribune-Review/72879558151

You stay classy, Pittsburgh?

Tony
tony.ciotti@thepearcares.com
http://www.thepearcares.com/

P.S. Mikey and me used The Pear on Friday. It was probably one of the funniest experiences of my life. For those of you who haven't given us a try yet - go for it. Trust me - I'm not only a partner at The Pear Transportation Company, I'm also a client!

The Pear Cares???? Really?

2009-11-08T23:37:00.008-05:00

I had an "Oh shit!" moment this past weekend. For those of you who don't know what an "Oh shit!" moment is, it is pretty much just a moment of revelation, good, bad, or indifferent. I've had these special moments in many different forms - "Oh shit, those two just fell on their asses!" or "Oh shit, that girl has an Adam's apple!" or the always enjoyable "Oh shit, I just replied to all!" This past weekend's moment was a little different, in a good way.

We had a Halloween night pick-up downtown. Four young ladies were out at the bar and had their vehicle parked in a garage. When The Pear showed up to drive them home, their bearded-driver discovered that the garage had shut down for the night, with their car inside. Kind of a problem when you're a company that drives people home in their vehicles.

So what did The Pear do? He gave one of the damsels in distress his jacket (he had his aforementioned beard to keep him warm) and then improvised. They took a walk down to the bar they were at prior, talked to the owner (a friend of the ladies), got his consent (he signed the waiver), and drove the gals home in the bar owner's car.

I witnessed this entire incident, but it wasn't until hugs and thank-yous were being exchanged at the ladies' house that it hit me - Oh shit, The Pear REALLY DOES CARE! Those are not just rhyming words or a clever marketing ploy; it's a way of life and a way of doing business. You can't run a service like this without caring about your customers and their well-being. So next time you're in a pinch, no matter the kind, call The Pear. We'll send someone to the rescue.

If you're looking for something different to do this coming Friday, consider the Pittsburgh Whiskey Festival - http://www.pittsburghwhiskeyfestival.com/ This event was ridiculous last year and looks even better this year. Think wine tasting, except at Heinz Field with over 100 tables of the world's finest spirits, delicious food, and knowledgeable vendors. The Pear will be there in full effect. Proceeds benefit the National Multiple Sclerosis Society.

Real quick on the upcoming holidays - For those of you planning on going out on Thanksgiving Eve, please get your reservations in as early as possible. It is going to be a busy night, and we want to be sure that we have enough Pears on call to care about each and every one of you. Chuckie Dumont called me like 3 weeks ago to reserve his driver, so you are already behind him in queue. Well done, Charles.

Next time, I'm going to talk about DUI checkpoints and why it is OK to go through them when using The Pear. Who'da thunk it?

Cheers,

Tony
tony.ciotti@thepearcares.com
http://www.thepearcares.com/

Behind The Scenes

2009-10-11T23:10:00.001-04:00

The Pear is open 24x7. That doesn't necessarily mean we have reservations every night of the week... but it does mean we have to be ready for them. So what do we do here when we're not driving you home?

There isn't a dull moment here at Pear Headquarters, whether we're busy or not. Since opening our doors a short while ago, we've gotten pretty damn good at sitting around. The espresso maker is brewing at all hours, Curb Your Enthusiasm re-runs play on a loop, pointless conversation and banter is ongoing, friends and family are dropping by to say hi, and Rock Band is almost always in the Wii console. We're not very good. Dani doesn't play any instruments and only sings one song (Red Hot Chili Peppers - Dani California); Mikey can bang away on the drums but can't seem to master that foot pedal thing; and I've gotten gonged (yes, we have a gong) out of the band on more than one occasion. Our guest performers aren't much better, either - last weekend my brother Dominic performed a rendition of Alice in Chain's "Would" so bad that it killed one of my fish. No bullshit.

Busy or not though, we're having fun... and isn't that the point of all this? Enjoy yourselves at work and at play. That what we encourage our customers to do, so it makes sense for us to maintain that same philosophy. So next time you're bored, biding time before the bars, or whatever, come on by and see us and maybe sing a song. You could be the next to get gonged!

Speaking of fun, last weekend during one of the pointless banters mentioned above, we purchased some portable breathalyzer devices... and yes, we've been bringing them with us when we show up to drive you home. They're not for us to use (we're sober, I promise); they're for you to screw around with. By using The Pear, you've already made the responsible decision of using a designated driver. Now go ahead and pass the breathalyzer around and see who out of your friends is the most shit-faced, within reason of course (Mikey my moral consigliere made me add that last part). Think the breathalyzer scene with McLovin and the cops in "Superbad." Pretty damn funny, right?

And speaking of even more fun - We are sponsoring a costume contest this coming Tuesday (October 27) at St. James Place Tavern on 18th Street in the Southside. It is being organized by our good friends over at http://www.barsmart.com and should be a blast. Karaoke, costumes, prizes, drink specials, the works. Here is the event link - http://www.barsmart.com/events.cfm?id=735F0D59-BAC6-FC03-5B20A15A6416651D. If you've got your costume ready, come on out and see us and sing the hits with the worst rock band in America. I definitely don't know 612 people ("The Pear" group headcount), so it would be cool to meet and hang out with some of you. Plus you know you'll have a ride home.

Cheers,

Tony
tony.ciotti@thepearcares.com
http://www.thepearcares.com

Hello!? Is this thing on?

2009-10-04T23:06:00.001-04:00

Welcome everyone to "The Pear." I'm guessing by your membership in this group that you have a general idea as to what this company is all about. Either that or you'll just accept any invitation that Greta Falvo sends you. Either way, we're glad to have you.

I wanted to use this venue not only as a Facebook Group that nobody ever checks, but more so as a general means of communication to keep in touch with our customers. I know what you're thinking - if I start getting any more emails with a subject line "Enlarge your_Luv tool 8^P" or "Pfizer@Viagra 99.999% OfF," I'm blaming that asshole from The Pear. Fair enough. I really just want to keep you all in the loop as to what's going on with The Pear - anything from stories, a look behind the scenes, events we're involved with, or general ramblings. I promise I won't write daily, nor will I bore you with messages trying to preach or jam this service down your throat. This is going to be fun. I swear.

A lot of people have asked us, "Why a pear?" After we ran out of fake stories to tell about our families owning rival pear orchards, we decided to stick with the truth - we wanted to create a brand, not just a service. Here's the thing - we all know that drinking and driving is wrong, illegal, and dangerous... and yes, The Pear's main goal is promote making responsible decisions when drinking. However, drinking is fun. Really fun. We promote fun too. That's where The Pear come in - you see him and think, "He's a cute little bugger, isn't he?" Girls want him and guys want to be him. He's winking and pointing at you, all while twirling your keys. If that ain't fun, I don't know what is. So there's your answer - The Pear makes us a fun company, not just some service for responsible adults.

I must admit that I had my reservations when pondering the whole idea of starting this company. Moonlighting as a designated driver does not sound like the kind of job I would enjoy. I've been proven very wrong in our first month of operation. I've got to meet some fantastic customers and have laughed my ass off on more than a few trips (more on that to come in future mailings). The trips are always entertaining; the conversations always comical (and sometimes mind-boggling); the people always good company.

On that note, I'll end round 1 the same way we end our text messages to our customers before we head out to meet them for a pick-up - Drink up and have fun.

Next round, I'm going to give you a sneak peak at what we do here at Pear Headquarters while waiting for the phone to ring and the inboxes to fill.

Tony
tony.ciotti@thepearcares.com
http://www.thepearcares.com/